Amazing drawing that I just stumbled across! So much love!
(via tealeggwarmers)
Sex-Positive Fundamentals
Sex-positive perspectives asserts that:
- Consensual sex is the opposite of rape. As rape is a negative force both personally and in society, sex can be a positive force in both personal development and in society at large.
- Communication, consent and pleasure are necessary components of sexual health.
- Sexual health includes engaging in sexual acts that are safe, sane and consensual.
- Consensual sexual expression is a basic human right, regardless of the form that expression takes.
- Sexual assault, pregnancy and STI transmission prevention are necessary components of healthy sexuality education.
- People have the right to accurate and straightforward sexual health information.
- Is it inappropriate to judge others’ consensual choices regarding how they have sex, who to hae sex with, or how they define their sexual orientation and identity.
This list was compiled by Rape Victim Advocates in Chicago, IL. www.rapevictimadvocates.org
10 reasons why I shouldn’t have had sex, but did anyway
Wilhemina Wang from heartbreaknympho.com has an honest collection of ten reasons she has had sex when she shouldn’t have. The list is specific to her experiences, but this is a very comparable list that people can relate to.
See the whole article here
- Because I was in love with the other person. – And I either thought sex would help make them fall in love with me (worst idea ever), or that it would help forge a romantic relationship (sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t) or because the other person didn’t love me back, but I wanted to get as close to them as possible.
- Because I wanted to become friends with someone, or because I thought they were interesting and I wanted to get to know them better. – This has actually worked a few times, I’m became friends with a handful of my friends after hooking up with them first. At one point, I was more confident with flirting and with my sexuality than I was with simply approaching someone and trying to strike up a conversation with them. Sex came to me more easily so I… used it as an “icebreaker”. Not to say that I wasn’t attracted to those people – I was, in a way – but I probably would have preferred keeping things platonic.
- Because I liked that people knew me as “that freaky sexual guru who slept with everyone.”- Being known as “that promiscuous kinkster” was… a nice change of pace. Through osmosis, I sort of subconsciously believed that having a lot of sex is “cool” – at least cooler than being a big ol’ nerd – which I consciously think is just silly, because no type of sexual behavior makes you “better” or “cooler”, it’s simply a matter of preference. It’s like people saw me as a parody or a caricature of myself.
- Because I missed one of my other lovers. - This happened a couple of times – the first time, I was fucking person X but thinking about person Y and missed them so much that I burst into tears, and then hurriedly left. Obviously, person X was very worried about me the next day. The second time, I was fucking person X but imagining person Y in their place and felt so guilty about it that I – that’s right – left. Do I even need to explain why this was terribly unfair to everyone involved?
- Because I was lonely. - I think everyone has done this at some point.
- Because I was horny and the other person was “just there.” - See above.
- Because I was attracted to person X, but person X would only have sex with me as a two-for-one deal with person Y. - This only happened to me once, with two guy friends who I was on a foreign trip with. I was horribly attracted to person X, but was not attracted to person Y, like… at all. But they only seemed interested in having sex with me if they could sandwich me. It wasn’t worth it.
- Because I was feeling insecure and needed a self-esteem boost; I needed to feel “valuable.” - The control; knowing that someone’s attention is riveted on you at least for a few minutes… However, after it’s over I was more or less back to square one, and it didn’t solve the underlying problem that I, well, had low self-esteem. Seeking validation through sex… just… no.
- Because I couldn’t be bothered to say that I wasn’t really all that into it.
- Because I thought that once I started touching the other person’s genitals, I had entered into some sort of binding contract that meant I had to then have oral/penetrative sex with them. - I have no idea why I thought this for so long. I was never even coerced/persuaded by any of my partners, I just… believed it. It seems so ridiculous now. As to how/why I realized that it wasn’t true – I have no idea about that, either. It just hit me one day – while I was making out with someone and knowing that I didn’t want to do anything besides just make out – that wow, I don’t actually have to do anything that I don’t really feel like doing!
THE LINE is a film that explores the intersection of sexual identity, power and violence. How do we negotiate our boundaries as sexually liberated women? How much are we desensitized to sexual violence? Through conversations with football players, educators, survivors of violence, prostitutes, and attorneys, this personal film explores the “grey area” and the elusive line of consent. Email thelinemovie@gmail.com to invite this dynamic program to your campus or community.
Sex Positive Essentials: CERTS Model
The CERTS Model is the belief that sexual relationship should meet five unique conditions. These are Consent, Equality, Respect, Trust and Safety.
CONSENT means you can freely and comfortably choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity. This means you are conscious, informed, and able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact.
EQUALITY means your sense of personal power is on an equal level with your partner. Neither of you dominates or intimidates the other.
RESPECT means you have positive regard for yourself and for your partner. You also feel respected by your partner based on how your partner is treating you.
TRUST means you trust your partner on physical and emotional levels. You accept each other’s needs and vulnerabilities and are able to respond to concerns with sensitivity.
SAFETY means you feel secure and safe within the sexual setting. You are comfortable with and assertive about where, when and how the sexual activity takes place. You feel safe from the possibility of negative consequences, such as unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection, and physical injury.
(Via HealthySexuality)
"I was raped."
One of the most moving stories that embodies the personal conflict of many survivors between placing blame on themselves and coming to terms with the idea of defining their assault as rape. Heartfelt, honest, and with a hard critique of victim-blaming and rape culture.
One of the most powerful messages about consent and sexual assault that I’ve seen in a long time!
(via bookishboi)
