Sex-Positive Fundamentals

Sex-positive perspectives asserts that:

- Consensual sex is the opposite of rape. As rape is a negative force both personally and in society, sex can be a positive force in both personal development and in society at large.

- Communication, consent and pleasure are necessary components of sexual health.

- Sexual health includes engaging in sexual acts that are safe, sane and consensual.

- Consensual sexual expression is a basic human right, regardless of the form that expression takes.

- Sexual assault, pregnancy and STI transmission prevention are necessary components of healthy sexuality education.

- People have the right to accurate and straightforward sexual health information.

- Is it inappropriate to judge others’ consensual choices regarding how they have sex, who to hae sex with, or how they define their sexual orientation and identity.

This list was compiled by Rape Victim Advocates in Chicago, IL. www.rapevictimadvocates.org

Just to reiterate: you can be sex-aversive AND sex-positive. Really.

lizziegoneastray:

Why is this?  Because sex-positivity is not intended to be about personally wanting to have sex; it’s about supporting the right of all people of all genders to have as much or as little sex as they want without being judged by arbitrary standards of “purity” or “experience.”  It’s about believing that other people’s bodies, and the ways in which they do or do not choose to derive pleasure from those bodies, are none of your goddamn business, and none of your neighbors’ business, and none of the government’s business.  It’s about believing that sex is not inherently bad or wrong or immoral, and that people shouldn’t be shamed for their sexual activity — or lack thereof.

A lot of people, for some reason, seem to miss this nuance, from what I’ve heard.  They think that being “sex-positive” means you have to have lots and lots of sex, in defiance of social norms, and enjoy it.  They think that you have to want to have sex, and if you don’t you’re repressed and/or buying into the aforementioned social norms.  For that reason, sex-positive spaces can become unsafe for celibate, asexual, and/or less sexually active individuals, and that sucks and I won’t stand in the way of anyone’s right to object to that.  Hell, I object to it.  But that doesn’t mean that the idea of sex-positivity isn’t worthy and valid, any more than the fact that some feminists scorn and disdain naturally feminine women means that feminism itself is sucky and anti-femininity.  It’s okay if you don’t want to have sex, or even if sex grosses you out, and that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t think that everyone should get to make their own (safe, consensual) choices on the subject without fear of judgment.

Now that you’ve read my perspective on sex-positivity as a philosophy (I do understand that the movement has its issues), perhaps you will better understand when I say that as a matter of fact, I think that in this respect, asexuals (even sex-aversive asexuals) should be sex-positive.  Why?  Because, hello, everyone should be sex-positive.  You don’t have to use the label or identify with the movement, but honestly, if you think a person’s sexual choices are anybody’s business but their own… well, fuck you.  Or not.  Because that’s your choice.

For this reason, although I think (and hope) we might mean different things by the term “sex-positive,” it always grates on my nerves when people say that asexual people shouldn’t have to be sex-positive.  Um… going by the generally accepted definition of sex-positivity… yes we do.  Just like everyone else.

(via thesexuneducated)

LOVE… breathing after rape

Rape Victim Advocates is partnering with UnSilenced Woman Press to create a chapbook, LOVE…breathing after rape, edited by Veronica Precious Bohanan that addresses life after rape by highlighting the stories of survivors who actively choose to love, heal and thrive.  We are seeking survival accounts about:

• How you grew to love yourself and others
• How you became sex-positive and a healthy sexual being
• How do you speak out against rape
• How your relationship with your body evolved
• What has been your mental, physical and emotional well-being regime
• What is your evolving process of healing
• What is your process of disclosing your experiences to lovers
• A survival letter to yourself, the person(s) who assaulted you, your current/past lovers, and/or to other girls, adolescents and women who may or may not have experienced such violation.

The submissions can be poetry, prose, short stories, journal entries, creative non-fiction, and/or black & white or gray-scale original visual images.  Written submissions should not exceed 350 words and can be sent electronically as attached PDFs or in the body of an email to veronica@unsilencedwomanpress.com.  The submission deadline is Monday, March 22, 2012 at 12 pm. 

Selected will be featured at a special performance event during Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) on Thursday, April 12 and/or printed in the chapbook.  More details about the event and a full calendar of all Rape Victim Advocates events during SAAM will be including in our March News & Updates.