Are You Ready to Have Sex?

Ask yourself these questions, and consider all the physical and mental possibilities before having sex.

• Is your decision to have sex completely your own (you feel no pressure from others, including your partner)?
• Is your decision to have sex based on the right reasons? (It shouldn’t be based on peer pressure, a need to fit in or make your partner happy, or a belief that sex is the only way to make your relationship with your partner better, or closer. If you decide to have sex, it should be because you feel emotionally and physically ready. Your partner should be someone you trust.)
• Do you feel your partner would respect any decision you made about whether to have sex or not?
• Are you able to comfortably talk to your partner about sex and your partner’s sexual history?
• Have you and your partner talked about what both of you would do if you became pregnant or contracted an STI?
• Do you know how to prevent pregnancy and STI’s?
• Are you and your partner willing to use contraception to prevent pregnancy and STI’s?
• Do you really feel ready and completely comfortable with yourself and your partner to have sex?

These questions were compiled by Young Women’s Health. Find this, and more information here.

Anonymous asked: Do you think that you should be in love with a person before you have sex with them? What about just being very close friends? I am a virgin and I really want to have sex, but I am always told that it is bad and evil and that I will regret it. It makes me feel very alone...I was wondering if you could offer some advice. :)

I believe that the most important factors in deciding whether or not to lose your virginity stems from two things: that you are emotionally prepared for a new experience that holds a lot of social and personal meanings, and that you have accurate information on personal safety.

Being emotionally prepared means that you know the person you want to have sex with, and that you discuss what having sex means for your relationship. You don’t have to be in love, but you should have open communication. Consider if one person has strong feelings for the other, sex may complicate that relationship and potentially hurt one person. Also, check on your emotional state with each new step. You shouldn’t feel bad, scared or gross in any way, and if you do, you should have the freedom to stop.

Having the freedom to stop is also important to your personal safety. The person that you choose to lose your virginity to should know that you have the right to change your consent at any time for any reason. You should also think about protection, such as STI testing, birth control and condoms.

There is no reason at all to feel bad about losing your virginity, especially if you’ve taken the time to consider protection and the emotional impact that it could have on you. Being a non-virgin does not affect how good of a person you are, and it does not make you impure. Good luck, and stay sex positive!